Dear God,

It has been too long since I said “Thank you.” As I sit here now, I’m holding the most beautiful gift I have ever received. I love his handsome face. As I look over all of his perfect, little parts I’m in awe. His tiny hands and feet are so precious. When I see them, I become so aware of the fact that he is my son…he is a tiny person.

I was around 16 years old when I realized all that I wanted from this life was to be a wife and mother. People would often get frustrated that I didn’t want more…to be specific, a college degree. I knew something though. I knew something that the world had temporarily forgotten while feminism was all the rage. I knew that being a good parent with a strong family was very important. To be a wife and a mother wasn’t a calling lacking in ambition, rather it was a noble and respectful position in life.

Soon afterward, I was informed by a medical professional that I might not be able to get pregnant. It was devastating news, but what can you do? I went on with my life. Then I found out that he was wrong. At 19 years old, I did get pregnant and about 6 weeks later I lost that baby. I begged you to tell me why. Why was my miracle taken away from me. A few years later, you answered me. The timing wasn’t right. Had I gone full term, I would have a 13 year old child right now. I’d be a mother, but I wouldn’t be a wife. I wouldn’t have the family that I knew was so important.

When Mike and I decided that we were ready to start our family, I knew that the situation was right. I had a wonderful husband. We had a beautiful home. Our relationship was one of the strongest I had ever seen. Then as a year went by, I questioned you again. I know that I should have learned from years earlier that you had a plan, but my faith was weak. Mike’s faith was strong enough for both of us. He knew all along that everything would happen exactly as it should.

I thanked you many times throughout my pregnancy. I realized the moment that I got that first positive pregnancy test that I was given a miracle and the time was right. Now, Gabriel is here. He’s my miracle and my angel. Thank you, God. Thank you for giving me all that I’ve wanted out of life. I am a wife and a mother. I will always try to be the best mother and wife that I can and I will teach Gabriel about you. I hope that he grows up to have faith as strong, if not stronger, than his fathers.

God, thank you for knowing when the time was right. I love you.

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2 Comments

  1. Firebrand said,

    April 22, 2005 at 1:53 am

    Wow, Jen… What a great letter! I, too, like to think that there is a plan for this life that I’m not privy to…but, as you know, it is often so very hard to sit back and let things happen as they are meant to be.

    You’re a very lucky lady, indeed!

  2. Michele said,

    April 25, 2005 at 8:00 pm

    :(( Wow, THAT was one heck of a letter. Truly beautiufl word of thanks to God. We so often pray and talk to God in times of need, but seldom rem. to call his name when not in need.


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