Screamapiller Part II

Well, I think I’ve figured out what the screaming is about…last night, Gabe screamed and screamed and screamed…until I put him in bed with me. Then he calmed down instantly and fell asleep minutes later. I took him back to his crib and within’ 15 minutes, he was awake and screaming again.

I want him to be able to sleep in his own bed, so I didn’t want to bring him back to bed. So, I let him scream. He cried for at least an hour. I was frustrated, heart broken and exhausted all at the same time. Now, I really don’t know what to do. I want him to be able to sleep in his own bed, especially on the weekends, when I can get a little cuddle time with my hubby…but I don’t think I can handle him crying at the top of his lungs for an hour or more every night.

A gal I work with said I should just bring him to bed with me. She just hosted a party for her son’s Sixteenth birthday. She said he’s only little for a while and before I know it, he’ll be 16 and won’t want to be seen with me. You know, I think she’s right. Time is already flying by; I don’t want to spend another night listening to my son cry when all he wants is to be with his Mom.

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8 Comments

  1. Firebrand said,

    October 19, 2005 at 1:13 am

    Now, I’m not a parent (yet), but I have been doing a bit of research on said topic myself. I’m really drawn to attachment parenting. Everyone needs to figure out for themselves what will work for them, of course, but I’m a firm believer in educating oneself. One of the 7 basic steps of Attachment Parenting:

    “Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry. A baby’s cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby’s cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby’s needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate.”

    You might find the other crying information interesting, too…

  2. Tracy said,

    October 19, 2005 at 9:28 am

    Ok…hate to disagree with the gal at work, but I think she’s TOTALLY wrong! He DOES need to learn to sleep by himself – it’s easier for you and for him if you give in – but a.) it’s not good for you and Mike – long run, b.) it’s not really good for Gabe – he needs to learn that he’s ok by himself – you’re still there, and c.) there are dangers in co-sleeping. One of the women I work wtih (granted, her baby was much younger) was smothered to death sleeping with her. Yeah. Not sure I could recover from that.

    I think you should let him cry for 15 minutes, go in, rub his back and reassure him that you’re there, but don’t talk to him…the go back out. Give it 20 minutes and check him again…then 30…it’s going to take a bit, but he will get the point eventually. That way he knows you’re there, but he knows his place is in his bed. And yes – I know it’s HARD to do this!

    When I first brought Kelsey home (and for the first 3 months) she slept with me, because it was easier. When I finally made the switch to the crib, it was somewhat like this, but I let her cry through it. I’d go in, rub her belly until she quieted down (not until she was asleep), and then I’d leave. It worked out pretty well, in the end. To this day she knows the only time I’ll even consider letting her climb into bed is if she’s sick or had a seriously bad dream. And I think Zack and I are MUCH better off for that.

  3. Tracy said,

    October 19, 2005 at 9:29 am

    Sheesh – re-read what I wrote – the baby of one of the women I work with was smothered sleeping with her.

  4. Cris said,

    October 19, 2005 at 9:47 am

    I’m not a parent (but I play one on TV), but is there anything like giving a child something that smells like mom or dad? I know it sounds corny, but like what you do with a pet. Is there any type of surrogate way to lure him to sleep? A heart rhythm emulator?

  5. Tracy said,

    October 19, 2005 at 6:15 pm

    Actually, Cris, they make a “Womb simulator”! It actually supposedly sounds like what a baby hears in the womb! Heh. I don’t really remember, so I can’t confirm…

  6. Scott said,

    October 19, 2005 at 11:15 pm

    Hmmm… All I have to say is that I think a Screamapiller would be an awesome costume for Halloween. Is it a caterpillar costume with a Scream mask for the face? 😮

  7. October 20, 2005 at 7:51 am

    Tracy – I thought there’d be something like that out there on the market.

    Scott – That would be THE funniest costume! Are you guys having a costume day at work?

  8. Firebrand said,

    October 20, 2005 at 11:42 pm

    Yeppers…there’s a “Womb Sounds Bear” available at Target for only $20. I have it on my Baby Registry even because it sounded like a great idea. 🙂

    While there are known dangers to sleeping with an infant, there are also ways to avoid those dangers. We’re considering getting a co-sleeper so that the baby can be right there next to the bed with us. We’ve also considered this sleeper so that the baby can be in bed with us. I am/will be super cautious (hopefully not bordering on the paranoid though!), but I really do believe that it is possible to co-sleep and avoid the pitfalls that are so frequently highlighted by those who don’t think it can or should be done.


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