A Prayer For My Pup

Dear God,

I’ve posted before about the evident mortality of my first baby, Taz-Cee. Her sight and hearing have slowly deteriorated. They are almost completely gone, as I realized earlier this week, when she made her usual trek to the back door to go outside and she got a little off course and consequently bumped into furniture and was unable to right herself. She was stuck and I had to pick her up and help her outside. She can still see faint shadows if they are in front of a bright light and she can still hear the high pitched noise of an air-kiss, if she’s in the right position. Yet I know that her days are numbered.

God, while she is still with me, I need your help to curb my frustration. A few times a day now, she will act like she needs to go outside or she needs food or water. She’s been pretty good about making her needs known by being completely under foot and needy until you figure out what she wants. Well, she’ll go through the normal routine, but doesn’t want outside and her food and water dishes are full. I get frustrated and I need you to remind me that maybe…she just needs me. She was my baby before I had Gabe and I treated her like one. She’s probably just missing that attention and affection. If my time is short, I need to seize every opportunity to hold her and cuddle her now.

I need to ask one more thing, Lord. As I watch her body slowly failing her…I know what this means. Eventually, she won’t see shadows and she won’t hear that air-kiss. She will live in a world of silence and darkness and she will slowly lose her mind. Please, please, God. I don’t want to be the one who has to make the decision to let her go. I don’t know if I can. I don’t want her to suffer…but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to know when it is time to let go. Most of my prayers to you these days are giant “Thank Yous” for allowing me to have such a wonderful life. This time, I’m begging. As I’ve cried myself to sleep every night this week, I beg of you to take her peacefully in her sleep. Please. please.

If that isn’t your will, please give me the strength and wisdom to know when the time is right. For fourteen years, she’s followed at my heals. She kept me company when I was lonely and without companionship. She has loved me unconditionally. I owe her that much.

Thank you for listening. Amen.

Taz-Cee Girl

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3 Comments

  1. Firebrand said,

    July 20, 2006 at 6:27 am

    Oh, hon…I know how hard it is to watch a pet slowly deteriorate…and I completely understand wanting her to go to sleep and drift away. As hard as it is, have you tried talking to her and letting her know how much you love her, but also telling her that you know she’s in pain and that it’s ok to let go? I did that with Daisy and fortunately (depending on how you look at it), I didn’t have to make the decision to end her pain…she just got comfortable and released.

    I will say a prayer for her sweet little self and you, too. I know you love her so very much!

  2. Michele said,

    July 20, 2006 at 9:03 am

    My friend, losing your little girl will be hard for you and it hurts having to be the one to know when it is time to ease her body of pain – I know for I had to with Sasha. Enjoy your time, pick her up for no reason and cuddle her – like Gabe, she is a child and just wants your affection. I know how much you love her. She is such a sweet baby girl and at some point be missed beyond reason. Many hugs and thoughts are with you and your girl. I’m so sorry, call me if you need anything at all!!!

  3. Cris said,

    July 20, 2006 at 11:31 am

    😥


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