A Glimse of Yesterday

It is so hard to believe that four years have past. It seems like yesterday and then again it seems like there was never life before.

I remember it all so vividly. I remember…

April 2004 – Discussion with my husband how we can afford adoption in the states. Feeling certain after two years of trying that I would never carry my own child. Feeling broken but at the same time hopeful.

July 2004 – Just a few months later, I’m looking at that little blue plus sign on a stick. Not believing my very eyes. My heart racing as I tell me husband that we are pregnant.

August 2004 – Sitting on a couch for two days, after visiting the ER with bleeding and cramps. Certain that I’ve lost our child only to see his tiny little heartbeat on a monitor just two days later. At that moment, I was lost in love for my tiny baby that was no bigger than a small bean inside my belly.

March 2005 – Going to my regularly schedule prenatal visit, only to be admitted immediately to the hospital due to out of control blood pressure. Potentially fatal blood presure. Being given that terrible seizure medication that made me so sick, but kept me from dying or going into a coma. Then being rushed into an emergency c-section 4 weeks prior to my due date. Though I was so sick and miserable, when I heard the lungs of my newborn son give out a good healthy cry, I was overwhelmed by the joy and the tears fell.

So many landmark occassions were yet to come…

July 2005 – My beautiful miracle baby boy, Gabriel, took his first bites of cereal. Needless to say, he was a natural! 🙂

September 2005 – Gabe cut that first tooth. Over the next several months he would cut the rest and consequently develop one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen.

February 2006 – My little baby took his first steps. He took that first big leap from baby to toddler and he did it with flair. He didn’t just take a step and stumble, he stood up in the middle of the living room floor (also a first) and just took off. He took six whole steps before he stumbled. I guess he decided he was ready in no uncertain terms.

June 2006 – He was forming his first words. Words that only his parents could understand, but it was a welcome change. We could soon stop guessing what he needed. He could tell us for himself.

April 2007 – He moves from a crib to a bed. A smooth and painless transition.

There were so many more landmark occasions. Birthdays have come and gone. There are so many more landmark occasions to come. I actually consider today one of them. Today, my beautiful miracle turns four. Today, I must accept that my baby is now a little boy. Today, I realize that school is that much closer. Today, I cry because four years ago I was given the greatest gift ever…my family.

I love you, Gabey. You will ALWAYS be my baby.

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