My sweet baby boy.

Yesterday we celebrated Gabe’s 6th birthday.  It is so amazing to me to look at my little man.  I remember thinking sorrowfully that I would never have children and here he is today.  I remember being on edge through much of the pregnancy.  I was just so worried that my broken body wouldn’t hang on to him and I was so in love with the baby I called Sprout (when I didn’t know the gender).  The thought of losing my Sprout wrecked me.  This blog contains several posts in the life of Gabe.  I started writing about my baby before I ever made the posts public.

I woke up at 1 am with bad cramping, so I went downstairs to the restroom. There was blood…very red blood. My heart sunk. I walked into the computer room and while getting clothes out of the closet, I told Mike that I think it is happening…I think we are losing the baby. I had so many flashbacks to the first miscarriage. Mike took me across the street to the ER. They took some blood and then we waited for an hour to be seen by the doctor. By the time we arrived the ER, the cramping stopped. I sat in there and waited. Finally, just before the doctor came in, I asked to use the restroom and noticed that the bleeding stopped. I wasn’t sure what to think or what was going on. I had spent the last hour in the ER, waiting and crying. Mike held my hand, but he was worried and tired.  Click here for full post.

Then the waiting…which may have been worse than the original trip to the ER:

I’m stuck on this stupid couch and I don’t even know if I’m pregnant. This sucks.

Then I saw his heart beat.  I can’t begin to tell you the intense joy I felt at that moment:

After the exam she said that everything looked really good. Then she did the ultrasound. We got to see the baby for the very first time. While it was very comforting to see, it was uneventful…until she moved the wand a little and zoomed in, then we saw the steady flutter of a heart beat. It was amazing. We saw our little dot baby and we saw it’s heart beat.  Click here for full post.

When I first felt him move:

I felt it. It was unmistakable. It almost felt like little sprout did a somersault and tickled my insides all the way around. Sprout did it a couple more times throughout the day and once this morning.  I love it. I love knowing my baby is there, alive and moving. Thank you, God. Thank you so much for blessing us with the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received.  Click here for full post.

And then there was March 4, 2005….the day we got to meet our handsome boy for the first time.

A year goes by:

I’ve been crying off and on all day long and I feel very silly about it. But you see, tomorrow is the end of an era. Tomorrow my beautiful, baby boy turns one year old.  Click here for full post.

So many wonderful moments since then.  Some made it into the blog, some are in my head.   Such as Gabe’s nightly prayer in August of last year:

“Thank you God for giving me such a good Daddy that makes me such a great dog toy. Amen.”  Click here for full post.

Age 5 was a pretty eventful year since Gabe started school:

Have you seen it? I can’t find it. Perhaps I should post some signs in the neighborhood: “Please return to owner”.  I seem to have lost a bunch of time somewhere. In four short weeks, my first born will be starting school.  Click here for full post.

I’m sure I could have added so many more posts here.  My angel, my sweet baby Gabey, my miracle…is growing up.  He doesn’t have that “baby” look in any of his facial feature anymore.  He doesn’t have any extra chub to remind of me of his cute chubby baby thighs and butt.  Yesterday at his party, he looked like a little man.  Here I sit choking back some tears, wondering how the time passed so quickly but also realizing how I’ve got so many years ahead when I will ponder the same question.

Happy birthday, Gabe.  I love you more than I ever realized was humanly possible.

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